What could possibly go wrong? Well, nothing and everything. “The Counselor” is a uniquely and almost impossibly bad movie precisely because the talented and laurel-bedecked people behind it made exactly the movie they wanted to. Nobody gets to blame the budget for this one, or inexperience, or technical ineptitude.

Meet the worst movie ever made – Salon.com

Alright, this is hyperbolic for humor’s sake but even so dead on the money. Before, I said I was processing and I think I finally realized what I was processing: the inconceivable idea that McCarthy’s first straight-to-theater screenplay didn’t blow me away.

Still, if you’re a McCarthy fan, I’d say give it a watch.  Matinee, dollar theater, inevitable Amazon Prime stream, something, but give it a view.  If for no other reason than Bardem’s hilarious relation of the car sex story.

And for a moment, he held out his hands as if to steady himself, as if to bless the ground there or, perhaps, as if to slow the world that was rushing away and seemed to care nothing for the old and the young, or rich or poor, or dark or pale, or he or she, nothing for their struggles, nothing for their names, nothing for the living or the dead.

All the Pretty Horses, Cormac McCarthy